thinking ..

It is not that I have plenty of time to write about stuff(Two minors a day after tomorrow..) and it is not that I really feel like blogging but there are somethings in your life…

He always wanted to have her as a friend as somehow he knew they along with their two other friends are supposed to be the best friends ..friends for life, but when she was with him, she was a totally different person…She was mesmerized by him, always talked about him only and failed to even recognise his presence in front of him..Even on phone, she always used to ask about him, on chats she used to talk about him, /* */…He thought that it was all natural and his place was just to act as an intermediate between his supposedly two best friends..but sometime it got to him, he felt that why did he call them their best friend, he does not share his life secrets with them, does not discuss the matter of life with them..he sometime thought why he did not discuss with them …and the only answer he could ever reach was they are not his best friends..strange …He always wanted them to be their best friends..so one day he sat down and decided that he would put to rest these raging storms in his mind and think about his life..He thought that he never wanted her complete attention as somehow he knew that it was not possible, he could never get it ..but all he wanted was that when he talks on phone with her, it is conversation with only two persons, when he chats with her, they talk about their lives , they can discuss what is happening ..He wondered why this is not possible and he is wondering since then, can they never bo true friends ?He was not ready to accept this, not ready to accept that they can never be friends..perhaps he was afraid of his past that he has never been able to make good friends. He ofted wondered how loosely this world has defined the word friend and how he is always chasing for perfect “friends” do they even exist ?..Every cell of his brain kept saying no to him but he always listened to his heart which said that if you try hard enough, you can find them…but how hard? at what cost ? at the cost of changing yourself to become what you are not ..When he applied all this to his relationship with her, he found that he is doing exactly this, he is changing himself …

PS: My goodness, tenses !!!